Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
