All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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