Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
