K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
