Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
