I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
