Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
