You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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