All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
