Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I deserve this hangover.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize