I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Randomize
