sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
