PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
You smell like stripper and shame
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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