i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
