They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
