I think I died a long time ago.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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