so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
