we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Ambien. No doubt about it.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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