at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
