If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize