You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
