I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
