Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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