If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Randomize
