he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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