don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
