: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
