And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
