I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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