508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
