I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Randomize
