Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
do herpes really smell.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
