i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Someone signed my nipple.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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