I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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