her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I have post one night stand depression
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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