Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
