My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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