pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I just gift wrapped bread.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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