i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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