K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
youre lurking in front of me
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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