Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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