so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I forgot how hot balto sounded
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
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