I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
