dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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