I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
