How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
