Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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