Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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