Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
