This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
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