We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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