ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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