he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
