hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
