the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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