best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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