I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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