My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize