The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Randomize
