i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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