im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
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