At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
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I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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