if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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