Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
He felt like a one man threesome
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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